Nonsense - daaaaphnx - LEGO Ninjago: Dragons Rising (Cartoon 2023) [Archive of Our Own] (2024)

“Again,” Nya barked across the training courtyard at the three young teenagers, all of them desperately trying to catch their breaths. Her voice hung heavy in the air, firm and incessant and demanding despite them having run the same drill for the last two hours. That was on top of them having been training all day. “You keep skipping obstacles! Run it again.”

Arin was leaning on one of the pillars, head thrown back and eyes shut tightly as he waited for his pounding heartbeat to slow. His legs were numb and he didn’t even realize he had slid down until he hit the bottom. Sora was hovered over the ground, keeled over and gripping her knees to stay upright. Her arms burned with every movement and flex. Even Wyldfyre, who normally had a retortive quip in her, had fallen silent, overworked to the point of bitter militant focus during the training run. Wyldfyre simply lay on the ground, staring up at the sky, trying to clarify her vision — she’d been running the course so much it felt like it was all she could see, and her sight blurred anything else.

“Nya please,” Sora begged, starting to extend herself up. At this point, she was the only one who could find her words. “We’re not getting any better, let us—“
Nya’s stare soured at her mentee, and Sora tried backtracking. “A ten minute break,” Sora suggested, and Nya was already shaking her head when Lloyd came over from behind her. “You guys are more than good for the day,” he said, crossing his arms. “You’re all doing well. We can try again tomorrow if you want, but go eat and rest and for the night. There’s already food out.”

He was being far kinder than Nya was, and Sora, Arin, and Wyldfyre hastily left, tripping over themselves as they escaped. Lloyd turned to his older sister, fuming.

“What the hell, Nya?” He exclaimed in a harsh whisper, his choice words catching Nya off-guard. “I come out here and see you working these kids to more than exhausted! We weren’t even running these drills at their age! I’m not going to let them train tomorrow — they can barely stand!“ Nya held her ground, glaring back at him and turning to face him head-on. “So explain to me what you think you’re doing,” Lloyd hissed.

“These ‘kids,’” Nya started, putting her words in air quotes, “have far more responsibility than we did at their age. So I’m training them to meet the world. And they’re not doing it right, so we’re going to keep doing it until they do.”

Lloyd gaped at her, stunned. “This is not okay, Nya. They’re not machines. Have you even let them take a break at all today?” Nya didn’t reply, and Lloyd shook his head.
“I’m taking over until you can get a hold of yourself and what we’re trying to do here,” Lloyd said as he started to walk away. “I don’t know what’s wrong, but I don’t think you know, either. So talk to me when you figure it out.”

He left her there, standing in the middle of the spinning course, the whir of the equipment filling the empty feeling she had in her chest.

—

Nya wandered into town, trying to let her anger out in a healthier way. Lloyd was right. She knew she was pushing the kids too hard, but in the moment, she couldn’t stop herself. All Nya could think about was—

She’d walked straight in front of one of the several memorials throughout the Crossroads, and found herself staring between a picture of Jay, and a picture of Kai. Nya exhaled a breath she didn’t realize she was holding, and couldn’t help but reach out to touch Jay’s framed photo with the backs of her fingers, following the lines of his cheeks. So many people were milling about behind her, but it was as if the world was quiet when she saw him.

It had been years since she’d last seen her Yin. When she first realized she’d lost him, it was as if her sense of balance was thrown off. She was stumbling and clumsy until she found something to do, but creating a new normal was hard. Nya felt she was alright now, though she thought about Jay once any urgency had gone away, and the only thing keeping her from feeling like she was missing something from her life was the faith she’d find Jay eventually. He was strong; they both were. Even if it were increasingly naive as more time passed, if anyone were to have taught her about faith and utter trust, it was Jay. She wasn’t going to lose that for him.

But time was both a blessing and a burden, a lesson she’d understood well even before the Merge. Jay’s voice was the first memory she couldn’t quite grasp again. When she’d initially realized she couldn’t remember how it sounded when he said, “I love you,” or even how he would simply say her name, she’d sobbed to herself for days. There weren’t recordings, at least none on her, and even then, there weren’t recordings of their private conversations. No recordings of him mumbling into her chest when they’d wake up together, no recordings of him bantering with her over a game, no recordings of him professing his love for her over and over and over again. She couldn’t get enough in the moment. Now all she had was a fleeting memory. Even when she’d shut her eyes to imagine his voice, all she would get were pathetic recreations and imitations.

After his voice went the way he felt — his warmth, how he’d slink his arms around her after a busy day, his gentle kisses to her cheeks and forehead. She’d tie her hair up and hope his fingertips pushing the stray hairs out of her face would ghost across the edges of her scalp, but the memories stopped coming after two years. Then she lost the way he tasted: the saltiness of his sweat on his upper lip whenever she’d kissed him after they’d sparred, the softly bruised taste of his shoulder when she’d gently bit down on it in more intimate moments.

The two types of memories she had left were how he looked, aided by all the photos she not only had but that the public had put up; and how he smelled, aided by the smokiness of a dense city. The constant buzz of electricity coursing through the streets’ veins kept reminding Nya of Jay — when things were quiet enough, she could place her ear to his chest and hear his heartbeat skip, his entire body humming with the lightning darting throughout him. Now, the electric energy left a singed scent drooping in the air, much like the smell of Jay’s hair, even after a shower, and particularly after a rough fight.

Nya didn’t realize she was sitting on the ground next to Jay’s memorial. She looked up at his beaming face and smiled softly at the countless freckles dotting across his nose and cheeks. She remembered making fun of him as his eyebrow slit filled in time. Nya hoped she’d never forget the brights of his eyes.

All this made her too familiar with loss and losing. As her eyes flickered to Kai’s image, tears threatened to fall down her cheeks, as Nya fought the urge to imagine all she could still lose with Kai. He hadn’t disappeared all that long ago, but losing Jay’s memories went all too quickly and sporadically. There was no planning for when she would forget, and what those lost memories would be.

“I’m sorry,” she exhaled, her chest tightening in guilt. “I’m sorry I haven’t found you yet, and I’m sorry I’m pushing our kids,” Nya said. “I know what you’d say. Everything will be fine, everything will be okay.” She took a deep breath. “I know. It will be. I just wish you were here. I don’t think I’d be pressuring them so hard if you were.”

Nya sat with her knees to her chin as she leaned against the post holding Jay’s memorial up. “They make me feel hopeful for the first time in a long time, Jay. I think if anyone’s going to do it, if anyone’s going to save us, save you… It’ll be them. But now Kai’s gone, and I’m scared all over again. There’s so much pressure on them.” Nya sighed and looked up at the sky, searching for some form of peace. “But I guess I’m not helping.” She could tell he’d agree.

“Thanks for listening babe,” she said, smiling softly to herself and getting up to leave. While she’d lost the memory of his voice, Nya still remembered the way he laughed. And that, she was certain, was the one thing she’d hold onto, as it echoed in her head.

—

Nya profusely apologized to the trio, who by the time she got back, were all sprawled across the floor playing with Riyu. “I shouldn’t have done that,” Nya admitted, hugging each of them regretfully. “You’re all doing so great for what you’ve been asked to do. I’m not going to run you guys, or anyone, like that again. I’m sorry. Anything you want, anything I can do, I’ll make it up to you.” Afterwards, she went to sit with Lloyd in the kitchen.

“It’s not their jobs to find Kai or Jay, I know,” she said to him, leaning on his shoulder. “And I shouldn’t expect them to. I just…” Nya trailed off, sighing. “I hope they do. But it’s not about them. It’s about us. We’ll find them. We’ll get them back, together, before we have to lose much else.”

Training went much smoother from then on, and Nya found the trio improving faster and further than she could’ve imagined when she was drilling them before. They were enjoying their practices even when they messed up, and soon enough, all four of them were hopeful for what was to come.

Nya couldn’t wait for all her fleeting memories to come rushing back.