as soon as she woke up, Nya was ready to leave the monastery for some morning errands, and Sora, who was already training, saw her distracted by something, seeming immersed in the oblivion of her thoughts even when she called her name.
"Nya? are you there?" Sora raised her tone a little, finally making her turn around. Nya's expression was surprised and confused for a few seconds, until she regained consciousness to notice Sora's presence in the courtyard beyond her.
"oh hey Sora! I'm sorry, I was distracted for a moment"
"I noticed" Sora said jokingly, but Nya didn't seem to be in a particularly good mood "where are you going?"
"I'm headed for the Crossroad for some supplies, do you want to come?" Nya asked without thinking, though she secretly regretted doing it right after. Not that she didn't want Sora with her, it was just one of the days she preferred to be alone. But in reality she had never been alone, so she was used to it.
Sora smiled, accepting the invitation "just give me a second and we can go" she then said, running into the monastery. a few seconds later she returned, wearing her usual uniform.
And so Nya resumed her pace, followed by Sora, opening the door to the monastery.
"wait, aren't we getting a vehicle or mechs?.." Sora asked, fearing for the worst for her legs.
"actually, I was thinking about a walk" Nya responded vaguely, turning to the girl with the tied up pink hair.
and although Sora wanted to protest against her choice, judging by the water master's blank look, she didn't want to argue. internally huffing, automatically she picked up pace next to Nya, a bit regretting it.
there were no who knows what conversations during the journey, little or nothing in fact. some update or thought were the main conversations that filtered in but ended too soon, set aside in discomfort.
not that it was boring, indeed, Sora preferred to remain in her thoughts from time to time, but with Nya's short and cold answers, the path seemed to become almost infinite, trying to start a conversation that could find the interest of the other. but after a few more "mhm" or "yeah" the sound of their footsteps had become the only distraction.
and as much as it was obvious to Nya that Sora was trying to start a speech, it seemed difficult for her to get out of her mind and actually listen to her. she feel sorry, but the feeling of a weight in her arms was stronger from being able to distract her completely.
as she walked, her feet went on autopilot, as the dream she had had that night was tormenting her until now. she would have called it a nightmare, even if it was actually a wonderful dream that she would have much preferred to stay there forever, instead of discovering that it was only a dream that morning.
it was perfect. everything she dreamed of at this moment in her life. a home of her own, away from crime and danger, along with her Yin and the beautiful baby sleeping fabulously in her arms, while wrapped in Jay's arms, as they both watched the baby in swaddling clothes, alive just from a few months.
all she had to do was lower her gaze to feel the phantom weight of her dream-son in her arms, perfectly remembering the scent coming from the baby. Jay's chin resting over her shoulder to peek, smiling happily at their new beginning. but her face immediately fell as it became clear in her mind that it was only a distant dream. an absurdity, just a desire or perhaps a whim to escape from the truth she was living.
"hey, Nya..” the voice, which seemed so distant even though it was next to her, caused the bundle in her arms to crumble, replacing the scene before her with her legs.
"could you remind me what we should get here?" Sora asked, unsure if she had done well to take her away from her thoughts. Nya looked up from the ground, focusing on Sora for a few seconds, trying to decipher such a simple question, to then realizing that they had arrived at their destination.
she looked around, returning with her head to Ninjago. becoming more and more aware of where she was, she cleared her throat, forcing anything out of her mouth.
"uhm.. yeah, I- we have to get the things I marked on this list" Nya replied, and while her hand went straight to the pocket where she was sure had put the piece of paper, there was nothing.
she looked down at herself, looking in the same pocket again, and when her eyes confirmed the absence she checked the other pockets of her gi. but that damned piece of paper wasn't present in any of her pockets. she turned around, examining whatever was on the ground and also looking towards where they had come from, but on the ground there was only dust, sand and stones.
she huffed heavily, making Sora understand that this list wasn't with her and suddenly a feeling of confusion and loss overcame her frustration.
but the more the feeling of having lost that piece of paper seemed to eat away at her guts, the more the feeling of loss associated with that dream-child.
it was a stagnant emotion, which made her palms sweat and her pulse quicken, feeling her breathing become heavier. as if she had the weight of another person on top of her chest.
"Nya?" but her gaze remained on the ground, compulsively looking up, down, left and right for that list of things to buy.
a hand gently, or hesitantly, rested on her back, sensing concern and terror in the tremor from the teen's voice.
Jay. his chin over her shoulder. he smiled. pride on his wrinkled face. he was happy, they were happy.
the memory was tempting, but her conscience slapped her cheek, snapping her back to her senses. she turned to Sora, noticing the confusion and fear in her young face. and guilty was the second thing that made her move away from that dream and that list, focusing only on Sora.
"I'm sorry Sora.. I didn't want to worry you, I'm fine, it's just-" should she say it? it wasn't a secret after all, but maybe it was better to keep it to herself for the moment, even if she already had some idea of how things would turn out if kept inside her. she had already knew, but she had gotten over it, and this was just a dream.
"everything's fine, and now that I think about it I don't need that list" Nya tried to lighten the mood, take the attention away from her and not make Sora worry.
"you sure?" Sora tried, even though it wasn't really her specialty to make someone talk. Maybe she could be good at listening, but Arin was better with these things.
"I'm sure, really" Nya continued, this time placing her hand over Sora's shoulder in reassurance, smiling "shall we go?"
Sora nodded, even though she wasn't very convinced that Nya was doing so well, but she herself didn't like being pushed into saying or doing something that wasn't right for her at that moment, so she let the worry slip away, trying to improve the minutes that would come.
with some spare parts in one bag and some food in the other, the two elemental were ready to return to the monastery, but a large crowd of people had distracted them, attracting their attention.
they occupied a good half of the street, with some shopping among the stalls of various types, others wandering around the day's festival and still others in front of the Shrine.
the first time she learned of a Shrine dedicated to them had sent chills throughout her body all day, reminding her of the urn that had been dedicated to her in her memory when she merged with the sea. it also brought her gratitude towards the citizens, happy to know that they would never be forgotten for what the ninja had done to save all their lives, and on the other hand she was also happy to be able to see it with her own eyes, meaning that she was still alive and well, again.
and even though Nya now knew the rest of the team was fine too, seeing the faces of her family members on those frames, wrapped in meaningful flowers in their memory, was a big blow.
people came in and out of the Shrine, offering their prayers to those still missing or even just to give their blessing, and it brought tears to her eyes. but they had to be strong.
Pixal was still out there.
Wu was too.
and she was sure that Jay was still strong wherever he was. she was more than sure of it.
"I still remember it as if it were yesterday when Arin and I discovered this place. he was super convinced that you all hadn't given up yet, that you were just lost somewhere looking for each others. and even if I actually I have to admit, I didn't believe it that much.. and then I was surprised that he was right after all" Sora said, recalling an event from the past, smiling.
"but I'm glad that he was now. I would have never known about your existence if I hadn't met Arin a few years ago, well.. now we wouldn't be here kicking bad guys' butts with you.." Nya looked at her, not managing to avoid smiling fondly at her.
"we're family" Nya said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, and Sora returned the hug with her arm behind her back, then started walking again.
the two continued with another conversation, moving forward to return to the monastery, not caring about the time or whether anyone was waiting for them.
it was just the two of them, enjoying good time together, and Nya couldn't hide the fact that she felt a certain attachment towards her. although they were Lloyd's novice pupils, and she felt affection and tenderness towards Arin, Wyldfyre and Sora, a different bond seemed to have been created with the cat girl.
she wasn't simply her student, and the fact that Sora reminded her so much of her fourteen-year-old self, didn't make this feeling any less strong. it went against her own reasoning to think that she was something to be protected at all costs from everything and everyone, given that it was precisely what Nya was trying to escape from in the midst of her adolescence to show who she really was and could do, but it was inevitable... she was like a little sister, like a daughter.
she was convinced that, the day Jay would emerged back from whatever realm he was, that he would think about Sora just like her. In short, she seemed like the combination of everything Jay and Nya shared, including interests, hobbies-
two pairs of blue eyes locked with her brown ones. she stopped in her tracks, forgetting whatever she was just thinking.
those eyes were in the middle of the crowd, just popped out of the Shrine and entangled among the accumulation of people.
Nya couldn't look away, she didn't want to for any reason in the world. And when those eyes showed surprise, something in her woke up, making her realize it was real. Releasing her grip, the bag previously in her fist was now on the ground, with the scrap metal now scattered everywhere.
it took Sora a few seconds to realize that Nya was gone, noticing that she was running against the direction of the crowd was walking.
various sounds of indignation and heads turned in her direction judged her, while she continued to run, not losing sight of him, his eyes unforgettable to her. pushing to pass, she ignored anyone who gave her a dirty look or yelled at her, it wasn't her mission at the moment.
she had to stop him, make him realize that she was the one with whom he had locked eyes, and even if she couldn't explain why he hadn't recognized her or ran towards her, at the moment she didn't care.
like she said she had to... she had to stop him..
but in a second, he was no longer there.
Nya had lost him. again.
although she hadn't taken her eyes off him, recognizing his hair and face as a must-see target, she had lost him.
she looked around, catching her breath and making repetitive turns on herself, hoping to find something again to recognize him, but there were too many people around, and suddenly the crowd seemed to have circled around her, oppressively observing and judging her, making her breathless.
she couldn't even see Sora anymore, and he had disappeared completely from her sight.
she wanted to get out of that situation, divert attention from herself, find him again and have the absolute confirmation that it was really him and not a figment of her imagination. and suddenly, that dream came back to her.
her chest seemed to feel heavier than before, but the panic lessened, letting her breathing resume its normal rate. her legs seemed to threaten to let her fall, shaking under the weight of her body and her vision blurring.
maybe people were really looking at her, or it was just a hallucination, just like the baby coming back to life in her arms. the harmony of that was managing to calm her, but as soon as she felt Jay's comforting ghostly arms around her torso, reality brought her back into the crowd that made her claustrophobic.
"Nya!" someone called out to her, unable to escape the haunting that the situation was becoming, "why did you run away? what happened??"
someone had stood in front of her sight, holding her over her shoulders, trying to shake her away from what she was going through. Nya's vision was foggy, blurry with black dots popping up every time she looked somewhere else.
the figure was mostly white, with the hint of pink and blue in the height of the blur before her.
Nya wished that phantom weight would disappear from her arms, that the warmth of Jay's hands would leave her waist. she wanted to get out of that house, escape from that scene so happy that seemed so disgustingly fake. she wanted to get out of that nightmare once and for all. she had to concentrate, and if there was a possibility that he was still among those streets, she had to look for him.
the fog from her vision slowly lessened, managing to focus on some details in front of her, including Sora. and again that same confused and alarmed expression was present on the girl's face, but this time she had no time for explanations or reassurances.
Nya had to act, right now.
"Sora, warn the others to come here to the Crossroads immediately!" Nya ordered, making it clear in her tone that she would not accept questions or hesitation.
Sora did as she was told, despite having no idea what was going on or what Nya had seen to upset her so much. their leader was the first to respond, warning that they would be there in a few minutes.
and so it was, recognizing them as they searched for the two of them, and Nya waved her hand high, reuniting.
"what happened?" Lloyd was the first to ask, looking around.
"I need you to search the Crossroad in every dead end and not! I saw Jay but I lost sight of him" and this was enough for the ninja to split up and search everywhere.
but even after an hour, no trace or person who had seen him was of any help in finding him, he had disappeared. again.
they regrouped again, despite Nya didn't agree with this choice, but she did it anyway, thinking that maybe they had found even just something that would lead back to him, but they were all completely empty-handed. she continued to look around, not wanting to miss anything, until she noticed the skeptical looks watching her.
"what?" Nya said, hearing the annoyance in her own tone.
"nothing sis, you just seem- weird..” Kai replied, his gaze mixing with concern.
"what do you mean by weird? because I'm looking for Jay?" she was annoyed, if not even angry at them and above all at herself. How could she have lost sight of Ja-
"don't take my words the wrong way Nya, but I think you need a break" Cole stepped up to say what everyone wanted to.
"How can I get a break knowing that Jay could be anywhere!? maybe he's still around here while we're wasting precious time for talking!"
"If Jay was really here, why did he run away from you?”
"I-"
and her world suddenly froze, immobilized.
they didn't believe her.
"I-I saw him with my own eyes, damn it! I would have recognized it if it wasn't him, but t-the hair, his eyes.. it was him, guys!" she knew they thought she was going crazy, but she also knew what she had seen, she was sure of it.
but why didn't he stop?..
"it's not that we don't believe you Nya, it's just th-"
"I'm telling you that I'm sure I saw Jay, and instead of continuing to look for him you're keeping questioning my words!" Nya interrupted Lloyd, blowing smoke out of her ears if only she could.
"what we're trying to tell you is that it's unlikely that the person you may have seen was actually Jay. if it was really him he wouldn't have disappeared among these people" Zane tried to tell her, using a more authoritative tone to the discussion.
Nya was on the edge of her patience, wanting to strangle them one by one because they weren't really listening to her, but she was also disappointed at how easily they had given up on Jay. especially Cole.
"so since you haven't seen anything, the search is over, right? what happened to 'ninja never quit'?"
Lloyd was about to answer, but Nya beat him to it back again "you guys are surprising me, really! Jay is out there, but you don't care, do I understand correctly? I can't be the only one who wants to bring him home" Nya looked up at the guys. their looks low and mortified. but they said nothing to contradict her words.
"I'm disappointed to know that you're not interested, I thought you would be happy to find him again, but I only see disinterest"
"Nya, we can't do anything! we have no trace of where he could be or even if he was ever there" Cole said, daring to look up at her "just like you I would really like to be able to have back my best friend again, but I'm afraid we'll have to wait a little longer, I'm sorry.."
she wanted to continue to contradict, to say that they were wrong, that they were wrong to give up so easily, but their looks were enough to make her look crazy again, blocking her every word behind her tongue. her lips no longer had the intention of opening to waste any more breath and therefore no more words came out of her until she returned to the monastery.
she was disappointed, by all of them, but most of all by herself. She too had given up after all, and it wasn't her intention, but she did, like them. Silence reigned throughout the monastery until the end of the day.
hidden inside her room, she thought of every remedy to find a way to contact him, but unfortunately they were things she had already thought about and tried now many months ago, but nothing worked. She had looked for any trace that afternoon, stopped anyone to ask if they had seen him by describing him, but every stranger had not seen anyone with even his likeness.
and that night ended with her sitting in her desk chair, passed out from sleep, while the continuation of that nightmare continued to play out its story.
someone had seen him.
it was a girl, and despite she was quite far away, he could see her long dark hair tied in a ponytail. she was wearing a strange, but familiar, loose cyan uniform.
their eyes met, sensing something in her as soon as he saw her eyes, and suddenly, that girl started running.
in pure fear of being exposed, he did the same thing, taking advantage and hiding among the people of that place, running faster than her.
he whipped around, still not stopping, but once he no longer saw that girl following him, he looked around, finding himself at a dead end. using the various thrown landfill, he took a running start, using it like a trampoline, and then jumped against the wall in front of him, zig-zagging between the two narrow walls until he reached the top, climbing up and arriving above the roof. he kept low, not lifting his body off the ground and instead crawling to a spot with some shadow.
hidden behind a low wall above the roof, he tried to peer down, while his breathing tried to return to its normal speed, randomly looking for the girl with his gaze, but she too had disappeared.
he had no idea who she was or why she was chasing him, but on one hand he felt sorry for running away. he thought that maybe she thought he was someone she knew and he ran away instead of telling her it wasn't him, or maybe not. but it was so strange for him...
especially the fact that he had never stopped thinking about her since he left the Crossroads and returned for the night.
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